Flip prata

As expected, I started to flip prata again and wondered if extending my pump sessions was the right thing to do. Today was the first day when J had to drink FM during the day time. It’s not a big thing la, I know FM is equally nutritious. Just that it was an “argh” moment when the IFC called and ask if we had accidentally forgotten to bring a bottle lesser than usual. Hubs then told the sch to do FM when it wasn’t enough. 

I don’t know if I made the right choice or not bcoz I sound like a broken record. It’s tormenting me. And I was just telling J that I don’t know what I should do. To continue extending and eventually close the milk factory or just to go back to excessive pumps. 

And I tell u..she always gives the best advice and without judgement too. She says instead of doing the Chart, I should really focus on WHY I WANNA BF? Coz if I can find the WHY, I will be able to find the way to do it. Simple words, with wisdom. My 军事 for everything.. hahaha .. here goes : 

1) feeling of bonding / latching 

- I really enjoyed the times when I latched Grace. I can’t explain what it is, and why bottle feeding is different, but it is. Don’t get me wrong, we can still be very attached to our kids with bottle feeding. 

This time round, Joash didn’t latch as well. Especially now that he’s in ifc, the chances that he will latch is only the occasional motn and even that would always end up with both of us half asleep.. hahahah

2) “FAIR”

- I did it for the girls and I thought it would only b fair if I did it for Joash as well. 

3) BM nutrients are better ?

- it’s a ? bcoz Vera who drinks the least BM also happens to have the least number of doctor visits. Grace on the other hand, frequents kkh and the PD a lot more compared to her sisters.

4) Weight lost?

- again this doesn’t apply to my case. I didn’t lost much weight, be it for the twins or this time round. Any weight lost during Joy’s time came back with a vengeance once I stopped breastfeeding. So honestly, if weight lost is a keen thing, I should stop breastfeeding (so I wouldn’t emotional eat) and go for my cupping sessions. 

这样看起来, my why isn’t v strong leh.. hahahah.. chey.. why did I even wanna bf ? Lol.. and guilt trap myself .. hahahaha

Will just let J latch for the rest of this journey, but if he doesn’t wan I wouldn’t force. And I’ll just continue my extension la.. hahaha..