Made of water (part 2)

I cried big time at the clinic just now. Never happened before, not even when my eggs were under developing.. it’s the hormones. It’s probably the trauma I witnessed last night. 

Gynae repeated his stand, for the best of the baby, we should aim for at least week38 or the original scheduled c sec date. If I want, he could let me do 24/5 or 25/5, instead of 27/5, but it didn’t make a lot of difference (in my opinion). 

He wants to do another CTG tomorrow (Sunday) and if all’s good, then it’s still the week of 24th onwards. I’ve never felt so despaired and probably the lack of proper sleep made me more frustrated as well. 

He says he understands my concerns, and thus if I wanted, I could come down everyday to do a CTG. Else otherwise, I can start doing my homework by counting the fetal movement.. 

I was so tired after that I couldn’t think. We went for lunch before heading home. My tears continued in the car. Actually I also not sure why it just kept on flowing. I felt bad that I couldn’t stop crying. 

My tutu fringe cut by uncle choo..it didn’t really matter that it was so short coz no ones going to see it anyway..lol

I spend some time with the girls, took a shower and had a nap. Not going to lie that I’m struggling. But I’m taking refuge in this for now. God is with me and He is in control! 

P/s: a voice in my mind asked me to google and I saw this.. actually jm send me this last week but I wasn’t convinced entirely. But today, I went to research it and yes , this probably explains why my gynae stand.. 

And joy just received info that her sch will commence HBL from coming Friday onwards. Which also means if we were to do our c sec on 24/5, the logistics would b fine. Bcoz she would b home to hold the fort anyways. Letting all the news settle down and discuss with uncle later..