做人很难

Just now joy was fiddling with vera..when she said "mama, when vera grow up, she will b more useless than u.."

And at that instance, I felt like being shot a thousand times..Like 无缘无故被杀死

I asked her "Is mama very useless? I can be more useless than now, u know?"

She apologised.

But damage done. Felt like I've fallen into a bottomless pit. 

This is her nth time saying it, like its getting a little too frequent and hurting like crazy. I rem the first time was when she was my IT support helping me set up the things during my video conference (when I screwed up) and needed her backup. She probably said it out of frustration but it still hurts. Or maybe she really felt that her mom is useless. I dont know. Or mayb I really am not very useful.

Other than my job, I dont know any other skills. And my job is something that the kids find it chim to understand or able to visualise that put any meaning to it. U know.. in sch the kids know the popular occupations like teacher; lawyer; doctor etc. But what is a financial adviser ? What do they do? 

Actually I find it even more hurting after penning this.. haiz.. I dunno how I should face her and how I should stop it from happening etc. God pls grant me the wisdom to turn this into something useful, that we all can learn from this together.