Emo Weekend

Been feeling super tired but unable to fall asleep every night. It’s the season where I wanna do a lot of things but I have neither the time nor the brains to carry it all. 

A friend asked what I’m doing this weekend and my reply to her was : 2 work zooms + pre trip emo+ PSLE + trying to achieve my / team work goals. 

Not willing to give up without a fight, but which should I start my fight with first? 

不知道 which is more impt to me. I did math revision for the last 2 days with the two of them, and I remember telling William that they should be prepared that they wouldn’t be able to qualify for their “dream schools” coz of the tardiness in their work, even up to now. They aren’t prepared for the big exam, and to be honest, I don’t really care.. lol..that’s why I don’t think I should sacrifice my time for this. 3 hrs of work is definitely less tiring than 3 hrs of parenting / 陪读 / 吐血. I was so mentally drained out that I started stress eating again. I don’t remember feeling so down when Joy had her PSLE. 

So since I’ve already knew the answer, than why not just work? Esp since we are fine with the girls receiving whatever results for their PSLE. 

I guess it’s mom’s guilt, or the feeling that mayb things would be different if mama was more present with them.. coz work is always just work, and even if I don’t hit my work goals, there’s still next yr. 

不甘愿我需要在两者之间选，也不觉得就算我选择PSLE，会有什么差别。