-- Drafted on 9th jun 2013--
As time passes, I always think how are Alicia & Dez are coping? How is it like? I am worried abt them but I didn't have the courage to ask, for fear that it would juz remind them again. What I do now is to keep myself updated abt their news via their blog.. And each time I read their postings, each time I'm so encouraged by them , their faith in God and how difficult it muz have been, coming to terms with everything yet deeply missing the one we so adore ..
Lord I juz wanna pray that You heal them, be with them, in these difficult times .. I pray that their friends and relatives would be sensitive to their comments coz often than not, its words and not swords that hurt most. Lord, I pray for comfort and peace in their house, I pray that much as we understand that things are in ur master plan, I pray that we can have good news to be happy abt. I pray that You will be with this household , in Jesus name I pray, amen
Friday, November 22, 2013
Back posts
Looking back at my blog only did I realize that I haven't been blogging for the past 6 mths! Ya that's so long! I did actually pen a few entries here and there but they were mostly half entries.. So I shall take this time to " consolidate" them..
-- drafted on 11th may 2013 --
Simple pleasures
" sometimes the simple pleasures in life are more fun and meaningful than all the parties in the world"
It does sound pretty exaggerating but I'm kinda proud of myself.. (Give myself a pat) of being able to make the two cranky bb zz w/0 bringing them out on a pram ride. :)
Their usual routine would b to have their naps while uncle pig or my mil would bring them out in their pram. I thought I would need to since I hv never tried making both zz at the same time for their afternoon naps; at least not for a loooong time .
This happiness was simple, pure bliss..
-- Drafted on 27th May 2013--
Bye Pump..
Yes, I've decided to stop pumping.. After 1 year, 1 mth and 2 days.. Haha.. Time to stop.. It's a relief actually , to decide that its time finally .. Grace has been treating me as a human pacifier and she juz wanna latch on when she's sleeping and thus I can't zz well.. It's probably time to train her to wean off as well, and start zz on her own bed.
Praying that all will b smooth
-- Drafted on 29th may 2013--
One month break
It's the end of may and also the end of my one month break. How time flies.. Haha.. It's refreshing when there's a break, juz to spend some time with the kids. I didn't stop work entirely but I basically came home usually by 5pm, so that I could spend some time w the twins and also joy when she comes back fr school.
It's scary to think that I'm gonna start working again next week.. I don't know how I can cope.. It's juz like returning to work right after maternity leave! But I need to, for the sake of everyone.. It's nice to spend the afternoons with William juz doing grocery shopping or pedicures or simply nothing .. But I need the job.. And I love my job too! So yes, I'm coming back. A bit scared but excited . Gonna start preparing for work to start proper.
God, help me make all things fall in place, help me listen to You,. Guide me and let me know your directions .. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
-- drafted on 11th may 2013 --
Simple pleasures
" sometimes the simple pleasures in life are more fun and meaningful than all the parties in the world"
It does sound pretty exaggerating but I'm kinda proud of myself.. (Give myself a pat) of being able to make the two cranky bb zz w/0 bringing them out on a pram ride. :)
Their usual routine would b to have their naps while uncle pig or my mil would bring them out in their pram. I thought I would need to since I hv never tried making both zz at the same time for their afternoon naps; at least not for a loooong time .
This happiness was simple, pure bliss..
-- Drafted on 27th May 2013--
Bye Pump..
Yes, I've decided to stop pumping.. After 1 year, 1 mth and 2 days.. Haha.. Time to stop.. It's a relief actually , to decide that its time finally .. Grace has been treating me as a human pacifier and she juz wanna latch on when she's sleeping and thus I can't zz well.. It's probably time to train her to wean off as well, and start zz on her own bed.
Praying that all will b smooth
-- Drafted on 29th may 2013--
One month break
It's the end of may and also the end of my one month break. How time flies.. Haha.. It's refreshing when there's a break, juz to spend some time with the kids. I didn't stop work entirely but I basically came home usually by 5pm, so that I could spend some time w the twins and also joy when she comes back fr school.
It's scary to think that I'm gonna start working again next week.. I don't know how I can cope.. It's juz like returning to work right after maternity leave! But I need to, for the sake of everyone.. It's nice to spend the afternoons with William juz doing grocery shopping or pedicures or simply nothing .. But I need the job.. And I love my job too! So yes, I'm coming back. A bit scared but excited . Gonna start preparing for work to start proper.
God, help me make all things fall in place, help me listen to You,. Guide me and let me know your directions .. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
The day before HK
The day before HK
- in abt 12 hrs time I will be on the flight to HK with joy.. Been feeling so excited the entire day. But a check with the view cam 10 mins ago, and I saw Grace sitting alone in the living room. Though this moment only lasted last then 5 mins before auntie walked out from the kitchen, my heart sank.
The black and white picture of Grace sitting in my living room, encrypted deeply into my brain. What kind of mom am I , to leave behind my less than 2 yr old babies for a 5 days break? I felt sick. But I can't possibly cancel the trip now and break the heart of my 6 yr old. She has been counting down everyday . 进退两难。
I'm starting to miss the rest of my village. Will I even enjoy my trip? Why did I plan it anyway? Was it more for me or Joy? That qn alone made me even worse.
It was an impulse buy because of the air ticket promo. It was also becoz William thought it was good to give some "me" time for joy and for me too. And I missed my frens in HK , having cancelled my last trip at the eleventh hr. Right now, I Juz hope he give me a surprise and fly there go meet me at Disneyland ! Yes! ( though I know fully that with the twins ard, it's hard to achieve any of the reasons I listed above)
God, in all situations, You said to draw close to u. Lord, I pray that You protect us during the trip; that I will travel in peace. Lord, I believe this happens for a reason, and I want to believe that it's for the good of everyone in my village. Lord, I pray that You help William while I'm away; that the twins will be obedient; and Lord, You protect their health . Lord, I want to pray that with me being away, Grace will be weaned off the breast as well; that she will be able to sleep back to her bed, Lord, I pray that You protect each and everyone of us. Lord, I also pray that during the trip, I will be patient to Joy, that we will be able to spend quality time together . Lord, I pray that I will be able to understand the thoughts of my 6 yr old, that I will be able to continue to hold her closely to me, that she will not grow distance from us with the twins ard. Lord, I pray that you let her understand that we are her family, that she has this village to share her joy and sorrows with. Lord, I pray all these in ur mighty name, amen!
- in abt 12 hrs time I will be on the flight to HK with joy.. Been feeling so excited the entire day. But a check with the view cam 10 mins ago, and I saw Grace sitting alone in the living room. Though this moment only lasted last then 5 mins before auntie walked out from the kitchen, my heart sank.
The black and white picture of Grace sitting in my living room, encrypted deeply into my brain. What kind of mom am I , to leave behind my less than 2 yr old babies for a 5 days break? I felt sick. But I can't possibly cancel the trip now and break the heart of my 6 yr old. She has been counting down everyday . 进退两难。
I'm starting to miss the rest of my village. Will I even enjoy my trip? Why did I plan it anyway? Was it more for me or Joy? That qn alone made me even worse.
It was an impulse buy because of the air ticket promo. It was also becoz William thought it was good to give some "me" time for joy and for me too. And I missed my frens in HK , having cancelled my last trip at the eleventh hr. Right now, I Juz hope he give me a surprise and fly there go meet me at Disneyland ! Yes! ( though I know fully that with the twins ard, it's hard to achieve any of the reasons I listed above)
God, in all situations, You said to draw close to u. Lord, I pray that You protect us during the trip; that I will travel in peace. Lord, I believe this happens for a reason, and I want to believe that it's for the good of everyone in my village. Lord, I pray that You help William while I'm away; that the twins will be obedient; and Lord, You protect their health . Lord, I want to pray that with me being away, Grace will be weaned off the breast as well; that she will be able to sleep back to her bed, Lord, I pray that You protect each and everyone of us. Lord, I also pray that during the trip, I will be patient to Joy, that we will be able to spend quality time together . Lord, I pray that I will be able to understand the thoughts of my 6 yr old, that I will be able to continue to hold her closely to me, that she will not grow distance from us with the twins ard. Lord, I pray that you let her understand that we are her family, that she has this village to share her joy and sorrows with. Lord, I pray all these in ur mighty name, amen!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Waiting
Waiting
Through my line of work , I've had clients who became my friends after a while .. And right now I juz wanna pray for this couple and their child, charlene. At birth, Charlene is borned with a rare brain disorder n thus began the route of beating the odds ahead of them. I went to reread their blog again from Day 01. And indeed God has been gracious and God is good. Charlene has battled so many milestones that we normal people might have taken for granted , but each milestone is a battle worth fighting for and we rejoice at each milestone.
Time flies and Charlene is coming to 4 yrs old. (A miracle on its own.) And right now, from my understanding, Charlene is fighting for the battle to survive . Yes , she is sick, very sick and the doctors have said Tt her lungs and heart have lost its functions and its only a matter of time ...
As a Christian , I know this is not the end and we shld rejoice as the child will see The Lord soon. But as a mother, my heart goes out to the family. It's not easy to let go. It's not easy to simply decide not to let the doctors intervene anymore and carry the child in yr hands when the next time her heart stops. Even for me, a stranger who only sees them once or twice a year , is finding it hard to accept. I feel so hopeless when there's nothing much I could do to help.
Lord, there's nothing I can do but I juz wanna pray for this family . I pray that the parents will be comforted, they will have peace in their hearts. Lord, I want to believe that everything happens for a reason and is part of ur plan. And though we do not understd y certain things happen, we want to believe that it is for the best of our interests. U r our Father in Heaven, and what U says we have to obey. Lord, I pray also, that U remove Charlene's sufferings. As an infant, she's been through more trials than her peers . Right now, God, I pray that You remove the sufferings. God, I pray that You carry the parents in walking through this valley. It has been a difficult and long journey and this period is the toughest . I pray that You comfort this family, in Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
9/10
Guess the hectic work in Apr had an adverse effect on joy.. She scored 9/10 for spelling on mon n her teacher say she cried hysterically for 10 mins and blamed us for not going thru w her. Said that we only had time w the twins, mom was busy working and didn't even bother to go thru it with her.
Coming from a 3rd party mouth but the hurt was equally hard, a constant reminder to rem Tt she's only a 6yr old. For the record, I did go thru with her on Friday but had forgotten to do a revision on Sunday which is a day before the Monday spelling test.
Another reminder is that I have to remember Tt Joy being prideful, will not always be vocal abt her feelings and I need to constantly do a check on her.
I was telling some of my friends that yes, boys can be a handful to care for in the initial years , but girls, being more feeling creatures , will require constant TLCs throughout their entire life cycle and it can be equally demanding if not more.
I love Joy and I'm grateful for her presence, her cheerfulness , independence, as well as many traits that make her so wonderfully special. I just pray that I will not neglect her just because she seems more independent and thus doesn't require much attention
Coming from a 3rd party mouth but the hurt was equally hard, a constant reminder to rem Tt she's only a 6yr old. For the record, I did go thru with her on Friday but had forgotten to do a revision on Sunday which is a day before the Monday spelling test.
Another reminder is that I have to remember Tt Joy being prideful, will not always be vocal abt her feelings and I need to constantly do a check on her.
I was telling some of my friends that yes, boys can be a handful to care for in the initial years , but girls, being more feeling creatures , will require constant TLCs throughout their entire life cycle and it can be equally demanding if not more.
I love Joy and I'm grateful for her presence, her cheerfulness , independence, as well as many traits that make her so wonderfully special. I just pray that I will not neglect her just because she seems more independent and thus doesn't require much attention
My Man and his back (Part 2)
- Drafted on 7th May 2013-
Today I came home abt 10plus.. My usual if I hv a couple of night appts. I saw him carrying two crying babies and an emo joy.. He told me that he's going crazy.. And that I shld no longer have any night appts. At that moment, I could see only frustration in his eyes.. He was tired and in pain. His back was giving him problems, and there seem to be no end to it. It seems better on some days but on other days it seem (at least to me) that he's limping.
I didn't say a single word and proceeded to make Joy and Grace zz first . That was the least I could do so that he only need to handle Vera, who is still sick and super cranky, and after battling with the two kids for an hr, they hv also zz.. (Finally !) And it was time to check on the big man. He is still emo.. And after a bit of coaxing and a bowl of instant noodles, he finally broke his silence.
The man was afraid Tt his back would not recover . It didn't seem like recovering and its frustrating coz there's so many things he need to do but he can't do any now. I was afraid too (though I didn't dare tell him) when I saw the hopelessness in his eyes. I only told him that for this mth I will be home every night to cover his duties and he juz need to concentrate on recovery. But deep down, I guess both of us were afraid, what if things don't improve ? What's gonna happen? I don't hv the answers for now and only God has them.
In times like this, its when I draw close to God too.. That I'm reminded that the human is weak but God is strong and He will perform miracles and do what's necessary . In fear, I said a silent prayer and also asked another sister to pray for us too. I pray that God, You heal him, remove the pain and make his back well again. Maybe this is a reminder for us to rest, to remember to seek You in all situations, maybe this is when we all come and draw close to U again, so Tt U perform the miracle that the human deem impossible. But God, I know U r always faithful and U have never failed us. I prayed that You ride the storm with us and let this be another testimony for us to say! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
James 5:16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
Today I came home abt 10plus.. My usual if I hv a couple of night appts. I saw him carrying two crying babies and an emo joy.. He told me that he's going crazy.. And that I shld no longer have any night appts. At that moment, I could see only frustration in his eyes.. He was tired and in pain. His back was giving him problems, and there seem to be no end to it. It seems better on some days but on other days it seem (at least to me) that he's limping.
I didn't say a single word and proceeded to make Joy and Grace zz first . That was the least I could do so that he only need to handle Vera, who is still sick and super cranky, and after battling with the two kids for an hr, they hv also zz.. (Finally !) And it was time to check on the big man. He is still emo.. And after a bit of coaxing and a bowl of instant noodles, he finally broke his silence.
The man was afraid Tt his back would not recover . It didn't seem like recovering and its frustrating coz there's so many things he need to do but he can't do any now. I was afraid too (though I didn't dare tell him) when I saw the hopelessness in his eyes. I only told him that for this mth I will be home every night to cover his duties and he juz need to concentrate on recovery. But deep down, I guess both of us were afraid, what if things don't improve ? What's gonna happen? I don't hv the answers for now and only God has them.
In times like this, its when I draw close to God too.. That I'm reminded that the human is weak but God is strong and He will perform miracles and do what's necessary . In fear, I said a silent prayer and also asked another sister to pray for us too. I pray that God, You heal him, remove the pain and make his back well again. Maybe this is a reminder for us to rest, to remember to seek You in all situations, maybe this is when we all come and draw close to U again, so Tt U perform the miracle that the human deem impossible. But God, I know U r always faithful and U have never failed us. I prayed that You ride the storm with us and let this be another testimony for us to say! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
James 5:16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
Vera
- Drafted on 5th May 2013-
My little one is sick, in fact she's been pretty sticky before she's sick. Not sleeping at night for 3 nights in a row ! I'm not sure if the sleepless nights caused the flu and fever or it was the other way round. It made her only want to be carried to zz and that was extremely difficult at this period of time coz Uncle Pig 's back has not recovered yet . And I could hear her cries at diff times of the night. But there was nothing much I could do. If we swop roles, I risk waking Grace up and he won't be able to put her back to zz..
Lord , I pray that You heal Vera; Lord I pray that U teach us and guide us in bringing up this special child. She is so unlike her sisters and I pray for wisdom and patience in loving this child. We want to believe that she will be moulded and shaped to the best we possibly can. Lord I pray You heal her, and also that it will not spread to the other two girls. In Jesus name I pray, amen
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