Even when she’s still grieving, she doesn’t show it at all. 

She continues to show up to be the 大姐for her siblings, to help jaga Joash while William is out for his gathering. I know she’s crying inside and her way is to bury it so that we wouldn’t worry about her. I wished she wouldn’t hide it.

God, thank you for sending joy to us. I pray that you lead us in this journey as she seeks you, that we remember of your faithfulness everyday, every part of this journey. I pray that when one door closes, you will open the right doors for her. God I bring that You bring hope to her, that she be reminded that in everything You are in control. 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Joy lost the scholarship again for the second time. 

It was heartbreaking. Heartbreaking not because of the loss but coz the officials told her that the appeal was accepted, raise her hopes only to have the medical team to reject her a second time. (Her medical condition deems her unfit for military even though she passed all her physical tests with flying colours.)

She cried even harder this time round. It’s as if the floodgates were let loose. In her desperation, she said she isn’t going to apply for any more scholarship. Just going to get a local degree. Get a normal job. All the 气话。🥺🥺🥺

No amount of consolation would touch her. She just cried inconsolably. I could see it eating her alive. She just kept going on and on abt how much time she wasted preparing for her UK application and scholarship interviews and in hindsight she shouldn’t even try. 

My heart broke together with her. It’s not like her to give up when things don’t go her way. So her reaction was 💔💔💔

There was nothing we could say to console her. I know eventually, this would seem a minor setback when she lives a full life to 80. But now, this was everything she wished and worked for. It was her everything. 

We could only cry together with her, hug her, give her a safe space to rant, to cry, to feel all her emotions. 

BBQ on a hot Monday afternoon

The ladies came over and we had a great time chatting. Never thought that we would click so well. 

I thought my closest friends would just be J&Jm but 缘分 pulled us together closer. 

It’s funny coz towards the end of the party I was already on hibernate mode and they noticed it and suggested leaving. Hahahha.. but I was fine w them chilling by. Just that I was too tired to make any conversations. 

Thankful for the friendship. ❤️❤️❤️

It’s especially cute to see the toddlers able to play well with each other too. 

Couple trip part III

The one week honeymoon ended. Was quite thankful to be back home towards the end. Coz I was starting to feel sick, and bored in China. Hahahaha.. 

It was a good break, a good pause to just focus on the man, even though in his POV, I still worked a lot while on the trip. Hahahaha.. oh well.. 

Trying to either approve cases using my small phone or reply clients / advisers text.. this is his evidence 🤣🤣🤣

Thankful to be able to spend this 1 week focusing on him and him alone. Thankful that even though we didn’t tick any awesome Michelin food, or bought a lot of stuff, it was good just to enjoy each other presence. 

It was good to sleep early and it was good to wake up naturally (although my naturally is still abt 7ish). 

We took so many pretty photos, cause he said I will need it for my LinkedIn articles.. hahaha.. 

Funny old man. 

May we continue to grow old together. My man. 

Count my blessings

A huge case that I’ve been following up has flew. 

My heart shattered💔

It’s heartbreaking coz I was really depending on it to hit my TOT. My garden is barren, the few people I’m texting doesn’t seem ready. 

The irony of it all slapping at my face. Just like how I try to motivate my audience, and then here I am, feeling downcast. 

I woke up from my nap abruptly deciding to count my blessings. 

So here goes:

1. I have a healthy son who’s napping with me currently. He’s a joy, and blessing from God. 
2. I have a husband who loves me to the fullest, and he is healthy too. 
3. I have a team of advisers who dote and look up to me. 
4. I have my band of sisters who are always there to listen to my rants whenever I feel down. 
5. I have clients who love me and trust me fully.
6. I am earning way more than a lot of people I know. 
7. I’m learning new things every week and it excites me that I can have the freedom to learn such things without compromising my family lifestyle. 
8. I’ve done my best to convince some clients to top up their coverage and even though they decide not to, I’ve done my best. 
9. I still enjoy doing my work, I’m passionate with it. 
10. I’m healthy, and I have 4 beautiful kids who squabble all day long. I love them even though it can be challenging at times. But I’m thankful that they made me who I am today. 

Thankful for this reflection. It reminds me that despite of what happened, I have so much more. I’m thankful. 

I’m not going to give up just yet. But I’m also not going to let the stress chase me out of my mind. Will do my best, to reach out to my clients, provide value, and updates. And whatever happens, is all up to God. 

Just do my best and let Him do the rest. 

Thankful that I’m able to still have the support and the health to do what drives me. 

感恩🥹

Couple trip 2025 part II

I honestly think, among all his kids, I’m the most difficult to manage and also the most challenging to travel with…

🤣🤣🤣

他真的对我很好。很感激有一个那么包容我的男人。

Told him that next year let’s just do a trip to Bali or Phuket and we can just laze at the beach or villa, so that he doesn’t need to plan til so hectic. 

Maybe it’s age, I can feel that planning even for him, has become more exhuasting. Esp when China is a very different setup compared to the rest of the world.. hahahaha..

Thankful that he helped tick my bucket list - 九寨沟 - 她真的好美。

Couple trip 2025

And this is the start of our honeymoon ! Hahahahaha.. despite all the busyness, we finally made it to this. 

Thankful. Let’s try not to kill each other on the trip 🤣